Family and Healing

I am so glad my mother came out on Monday. At first I thought I'd be okay if she just came out on Thursday, but having her here these past couple of days has been exactly what I needed.

On Monday night and Tuesday when the medication started kicking in and everything was happening, it helped to have her here to talk to. All through this, I've been able to tell her what I'm thinking, how I'm feeling, what I'm afraid of, what I wish for, and she's listened and help me walk through the hard parts. She's been a mom. And that's what mom's do. There's been lots of times in my life where we've been mad at each other, disappointed in each other, sad for each other...times like these make up for all of those.

Bryan's been great too. He's constantly concerned about me, wanting to know if I'm okay. Today was a good day. This afternoon was beautiful. We sat outside in the backyard; mom and I watched Bry and Lan play for hours. To see how much they love each other fills my heart. I know he's hurting too. He knows when I need a squeeze, or a prayer, or a look of understanding. He loves me.

I've had so many friends and family showing their concern. The love and prayers we've received this week have been beyond my comprehension.

It still hurts. I know its going to hurt for a long time. But I'm doing okay. Because with the hurt is also love. And I know someday that love will overshadow the hurt. But today's not that day. Today I miss my baby.